I’m a middle school physical education and health teacher. I can count on one hand the number of times that students have expressed any appreciation for a lesson that I taught.
That’s just how it is.
Students don’t often leave class, wave goodbye, and express their heartfelt gratitude for me preparing, planning, and delivering a potential life-altering lesson regularly. I’ve accepted that most of my students will not fully appreciate the time and care I have crafted into these lessons until they are well out of my classroom and have moved into adulthood.
But last week a student did the unexpected.
For the past two weeks, the students in my health class have been learning about bullying and the effects bullying has on students both now and in the future. The first few days are, admittedly, filled with note-taking, vocabulary words, and your standard ‘teacher-talking-students-listening’ classroom stuff.
The final lesson of the unit covers self-harm and suicide. If you’re wondering why I talk about these issues openly with my students, here are a few statistics I’d like for you to know.
According to the SAVE (Suicide Awareness Voices of Education) website…
1 in 100,000 children ages 10 to 14 die by suicide each year.
7 in 100,000 youth ages 15 to 19 die by suicide each year.
Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death for 15 to 24-year-old Americans.
Lesbian, gay, and bisexual kids are 3x more likely than straight kids to attempt suicide at some point in their lives.
Medically serious attempts at suicide are 4x more likely among LGBTQ youth than other young people.
Whether one wants to admit it or not, teenage suicide is a real thing. Bullying behavior and suicidal behavior are closely related. This means that teens who experience bullying are far more likely to think about and possibly even exhibit suicide behavior.
It is my opinion that a topic as prevalent and destructive as suicide is not one that should be shied away from. Instead, we as teachers, educators, and parents should be practically, openly, and constructively discussing this major issue with our students and children. For this reason, I discuss bullying and suicide every year inside of my health classroom.
Most of the students viewed the unit as any other unit. Notes were taken. Questions were asked. Lessons were taught. On the final day of the unit, the day that we discussed self-harm and suicide, there was a different vibe in the room. Instead of just looking at the board for answers, several students were making continual eye contact with me as I taught.
They weren’t just learning, they were actually listening.
When the lesson was over, the kids left the room faster than a speeding bullet. I just assumed that they were happy to be done with health and on to the next portion of their day.
After school day was complete and the students were released, I made my way down to the sixth-grade hallway to discuss plans for the following day with a fellow teacher. While on my way, I happened to pass by and speak to a student from one of my classes earlier that day. After a head nod from me, as if to say what's up, she said something to me that I will not soon forget.
She looked at me and said, “Coach Frye, thank you for your lesson today”.
I was stunned, paralyzed, frozen in motion. I didn’t know what to say. With her thank you, she had actually rendered me speechless.
All I could muster was a simple, very heartfelt, “Thank you”.
I cried walking through the parking lot to my truck. I wasn’t snot-bubble crying or anything, but tears were definitely shed! I was so moved that I called my dad and told him on the way home. After putting the kids to bed, I conveyed the story to my wife as it had unfolded earlier that day. At the end of the story, she was in tears along with me.
The appreciation my student showed after that lesson was enough to get me through the rest of the year. I’ll be perfectly fine if I don’t one single thank you from any other student for the remainder of the semester.
If you’re reading this and you’ve been contemplating suicide or simply having thoughts about hurting yourself, please understand this: your life is valuable. Your life is truly precious. Even though you may not think so, there are people who love you, care for you, and want you to be happy. For your health and the overall wellbeing of your family and loved ones, seek help from someone you trust. Tell a parent, tell a friend, tell your pastor, tell your consular.
For more help and information, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or visit their website at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
Teachers, parents, friends, and caring people reading this, be on the lookout for suicide warning signs in your children, students, and friends. According to the Stanford Children’s Health website, the warning signs include:
Noticeable changes in eating or sleeping habits
Unexplained or unusually severe, violent, or rebellious behavior
Withdrawal from family or friends
Sexual promiscuity, truancy, and vandalism
Drastic personality change
Agitation, restlessness, distress, or panicky behavior
Talking or writing about committing suicide, even jokingly
Giving away prized possessions
Doing worse in school
Tell your children you love them. Let your students know you care about them. Comfort your friends and coworkers when they are experiencing tough times. You may get more than appreciation. You may actually help save a life.